I have tried many chore systems over the past few years. Most of them I have made myself and have helped a lot but over the past few months I have been really looking for something new... something different that would work better for our family and our needs.
At the beginning of the year when I was thinking about this constantly I decided to visit our church book store in Illinois. It is really far away so I don't get there often but that day we were trying to find things to do until Doug got off work so we could drive him home. I decided it was a great time to go visit.
While browsing I found a book called Accountable Kids by Scott and Traci Heaton.
There was also a chore system that went with the book but since it was a little more than I wanted to blindly spend on something I chose to spend the money on just the book to see what it was all about.
I spent the next few days immersed in this book knowing that it was something I wanted to try.
I went online and found the website for the Accountable Kids Program and ordered the kit.
So what is the Accountable Kids Program?
It is a parenting program to teach not only responsibility in the home through the chores but also accountability. It gives children control in a system where they learn to balance their choices and consequences.
The Accountable Kids Program includes a book ( I got mine separate but it is more cost effective to buy it as a kit), the Quick Start DVD, Progress Board, 50 reminder Cards, 3 Blank Reminder Cards, 10 Tickets, 10 Bonus Bucks, 3 Special Date Cards, 4 Best Behavior Cards, 2 Privilege Passes, and 2 sticker sheets.
I also bought an Accountable Kids Mini Board to hang over Abi's board so that I would have a convenient location to store the Reminder Cards, Best Behavior Cards, Privilege Passes, and Date Cards. I bought some extra tickets and date cards too.
This program is introduced over the course of four weeks implementing steps each week so it is not too overwhelming.
The first week I let Abi decorate her board and we hung up the boards near the kitchen.
That night we held a Family Home Evening and introduced Step one.
In Step One children learn to take care of personal responsibilities without constant direction. The first peg on the board holds Abi's 'core' chores- the chores that she is responsible for every day. These are broken up into morning chores (to be done before 10am), afternoon chores (to be done before dinner/ 5pm), and evening chores to be done before bedtime.
As soon as she is done with a chore she turns it over onto the finished peg. I don't have to follow her around making sure she is doing her chores. She is responsible for seeing what needs to be done and doing it. As soon as her chores for a time period are done she receives a ticket. Each ticket can be redeemed for something she likes to do like watching television or playing on the computer. During this week TV and computer time were reintroduced as a privilege that needs to be earned rather than a right.
These tickets also provide a form of discipline as I can take one away for bad behavior. Occasionally she won't have any tickets on her peg to take away and for these situations we have created a list of things that get taken away if there is no ticket (movie night, mid week movie afternoon, etc).
In Step Two we introduced the Privilege Pass. This is to eliminate certain negative behavior. It helps children to predict consequences and follow rules.
We also introduced the Special Date Card. This Card allows children to work for future rewards while also enhancing parent/child relationships.
We use the Privilege Pass for bedtime. Abi was having issues going to bed. She would come out of her room pretending she was sleepwalking or yell for us to come up which would sometimes wake up Maddy. Also, we made a new rule that she needed to stay in her room until 7am so that she could wake up as early as she does but she would have to play nicely in her room until 7. This allowed me some extra time in the morning that I really needed. To earn the Privilege Pass every day she has to go to bed and stay in bed and then stay in her room until 7am.
The Special date card has 10 squares on it and Abi gets a star for each day that she has earned all 3 tickets, meaning she has done all of her core chores that day. When she fills up the card with 10 squares she gets a special date with one of us.
In Step Three we introduced Extra Chores. These are chores that are not her responsibility every day but are things she can do to earn money. We give her a bonus buck for each chore and then at the end of the week we give her a quarter in exchange for each bonus buck. She loves this because it gives her the power to save up for things she wants that I say no to. This gives children the chance to learn how to save and manage their resources.
In Step Four we introduced a Family Forum and Quiet Time. We actually already did both of these but we discussed why and what we would get out of them. Our Family Forum is our Family Home Evening every Monday night. It is a time to discuss goals , problems, and accomplishments as a family as well as have some fun together.
Abi was so excited to do her chores every day. She loved getting her tickets and I was amazed at how she would really think through how she was going to use them. There were times when she wanted to watch a TV show but also wanted to play on the computer so she would have me split the time or days when she would say that she wanted to watch 15 minutes now and then save the rest for later. I really enjoyed seeing her plan out her time this way.
When we introduced the Privilege pass she wasn't too excited but she followed the rules most days because she wanted that Pass that could be used the same as a ticket.
She quickly earned all the stars on her first Special Date Card so that she could have me take her to get ice cream.
We are still working out all the details and tweaking the system to fit our needs but this system has really given Abi a tangible way to take control of her rewards and consequences.
It has also allowed me a way to get her to do what she is supposed to be doing without losing my temper.
In the book they state that your child will probably try to test the system at some point and we have been dealing with that this week.
There have been a few days that Abi just doesn't do her chores. I have had to do what the book tells you to do and let her fail. She won't do her chores and then she will want to watch a show and I have to tell her no because she doesn't have a ticket. I'm pretty sure that after a few more days of this she will go back to happily doing her chores every day!
The book also states that a lot of families decide to have a free day. A free day is a day where a child still needs to do their core chores but doesn't have to pay tickets for the things they usually do. We loved this idea feeling that kids need that. So on Saturdays she gets to have as much television or computer time as she wants without having to use tickets. This makes her so happy and yet we have noticed that she spends more time on her free days not watching TV then she used to. She will watch for a while and then go off to do something else and come back later. I love this.
So, what is my rating of this program? On a scale of 1-5 I would rate it a 4. I think it is a great program and have seen it work over the past month.
I was tempted to try to make up my own system after reading this book so I wouldn't have to pay for it but I realized that it was so worth it to have the package with all the cards delivered to me all ready for use. It would have been so much more work to make it myself.
If you would like to check out the system for yourself there website has a lot of information and videos to watch as well.
You can also check them out on facebook.
