My word

CHALLENGE

"Accept challenges that you may feel the exhilaration of victory."
- George Patton

I've noticed that many bloggers choose a 'word' each new year. This word is a mantra of sorts- a way to remind them of what they want to accomplish or 'be' during the next year. I wanted to do this. I have been pondering what my word would be for a while now and found that there were a few that stuck out. I picked the word 'Challenge' because I feel like it covers all the areas that I want to focus on. I'll try to explain.

My favorite Disney Princess movie is Beauty and the Beast. I'm not sure why this surprises people but , in my experience, it does. I was 14 when I saw it the first time and was in a pretty bad place in my life. I felt pulled in all sorts of directions. There were my parents and a few 'good' friends pulling me one way , encouraging me to act a certain way, and then there were my other friends (the majority of my friends) trying to pull me down their path. While my parents path was by far superior to the one I was choosing at the time I really didn't want either at that point. I didn't know what I wanted. So, there I was watching Belle being proposed to by a horrible guy when she runs out into the field and sings, "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can bear. ... I want so much more than they've got planned." There it was. That was what I wanted. All my life I have craved adventure. I wanted something 'more'.

This has not changed since then. What has changed has been my perception of adventure. Sure, I still want to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, go down in a shark cage, track tigers in China, see the great Pyramids, and the Polar Bears in Churchill, but I have also realized that every day can be an adventure, every moment can be an adventure. Every challenge I face every day can be one more step of my great adventure.

"Life is a great adventure or nothing at all."
-Helen Keller

Life is challenging. Life is hard. Life requires courage, faith, and spirit. These are some of my every day challenges.

"A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner."
-Anonymous

2008 was a rough year for me. I can't put my finger on one thing and say "this was the problem". It was just hard. There were the normal stresses of being an adult and parent of a two (now 3) year old but there was more than that. I dealt with a lot of inner turmoil because of the high expectations I have for myself and the things I think I am inadequate at. I lost focus at times. I missed my family and Utah more than I ever thought possible. I sometimes felt really alone and bored with everything. There were moments when I looked back at the person I once was and wondered where that girl went.
Over the past 11 years life's circumstances have transformed me into the girl I now am but over the past 7 I felt like I had gained a lot of what I had lost back. The truth is though that I have never returned fully to that girl that was happy no matter what. In high school I was brimming with confidence and enthusiasm and joy. I was known for it.

I sometimes feel that since then I have become someone who is happy but not always 'joyful'. I have a more cynical outlook on life and people in general and I don't like that. I liked being a cockeyed optimist no matter how naive that may have made me. I don't like that I doubt myself. I think I have sometimes forgotten that age old saying, "Remember who you are."
In high school I also studied Taoism for a class project and fell in love with it and the wisdom of Lao Tze. This week as I was pondering all of this I ran across a quote of his:

"At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and what you want."

That's when I realized that yes, I do know who I am. I do know what I want. I want challenges, adventures, joy. My biggest challenge this year is going to be: BE MYSELF. This means that I will take my challenges as they come. I challenge myself to find joy in small things. I challenge myself to find the good in everything. I challenge myself to look at the world through rose colored glasses. I challenge myself to get the story that has been brewing inside of me this year onto paper and become the writer I know I am. I challenge myself to be joyful. I challenge myself to continue to learn and read and stretch my mind. I challenge myself to laugh more than I should, love deeply, be excited, and follow my heart. I challenge myself to be silly every day with my little girl the way we were on Christmas Eve making faces at the camera.

I have also resolved to follow a goal setting plan that I picked up almost a year ago while in Utah at a church distribution center. It is called the Pursuit of Excellence. I opened it today and noticed that it is referred to as an "achievement challenge". Throughout the booklet you don't list 'goals', you list 'challenges'. This year I will be challenging myself spiritually, intellectually, physically, and socially. I am not challenging myself to be perfect in these areas, but to be better.

This is the year that I will challenge myself to reach a new level of potential, to remember who I am:
To make my own adventures, to make life count, and to embrace the challenges that come my way.

"Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."
-Joshua Marine

I challenge myself to be do all these things and more.. to take life by the beard and show it that it isn't the boss of me. To tell the world once more the saying I am famous for in my family, "Don't tell me what to do."

"When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand and that it was only tied on to scare away timid adventurers."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is your word this year?

Check out the 'word' giveaway over at Tip Junkie!